keeping it one hundred

Posted on 09.22.2010 by

amidst the culture shock of new faces, new roles, and new terminology, i’m also learning (or re-learning from my days long ago working in a group home) some new phrases from what i guess you could call hip hop culture. examples: “acting a fool” which means pretty much what it sounds like, and “posting,” slang for going #2. never heard that one before! another one, used frequently by my supervisor jameela, is “let’s just keep it one hundred,” followed by words that are tough to hear but certainly needed. i’ve been thinking of my own little collection of topics. some of what i have to say may not be comfortable, but let’s keep it one hundred and say what needs to be said.

youth group games should not be competitive.

…at least not in the traditional ways that favor the athletic, coordinated, or smart. it’s frustrating  to a kid who’s smaller or less savvy when the ones who get attention everywhere else continue to dominate at youth group. it takes a bit more effort to keep things fresh and noncompetitive, but it’s absolutely worth it and necessary. if there’s a “secret” to the game, you should not play it again until the current group has moved through.

let’s keep it one hundred. why do we play games in the first place? to kill/fill time? to burn off energy so they’ll pay better attention? to rile them up so they can’t? (we’ve ratcheted down our games quite a bit for exactly that reason.) or is there perhaps a higher road to travel, on which games are planned carefully and with purpose, keeping in high regard the needs of all individuals as well as the integrity and wholeness of your entire group.

in matthew 16:18, Jesus did not ordain the Christian school. or the church youth group.

it sometimes frustrates me when kids that attend our church, and also attend a Christian school, are often way more involved in their school’s activities – even on wednesday nights – than in our church’s youth program. i think to myself, these kids already spend all day together. why do they need to do youth group at their school too?

it’s the local church that is the heartthrob of our Savior. not the age-segregated youth group.
then i recall that it’s the local church that is the heartthrob of our Savior. not the age-segregated youth group. age-targeted programs have an important place in a family’s overall tapestry of opportunities for involvement. if the family chooses to make the investment to send their child to a private school, it is the school’s responsibility to wisely walk alongside the parents in the sacred call of raising children to be godly. the exact same is true, however, for those of us in church youth ministry.

what concerns me is when anything but the local church as an entity, not its segmented ministries, is given too much priority. does that mean that you need to send a kid to his own church youth group instead of whatever is offered at the Christian school? sometimes, yes. but it also may mean that you spend a wednesday night together as a family sometimes, instead of yet another night when everyone is shuttled off to their silos. just keeping it one hundred.

middle school boys stink. make them shower.

it’s become part of my orientation ritual at camps and retreats. i tell the boys they need to shower. every day. and put on deodorant. period.

axe body spray does not make you smell better, it only makes you smell more.
axe body spray does not count. it does not make you smell better, it only makes you smell more. and going swimming does not count as a shower either, especially if it’s in lake water. the fish have peed and pooped in that water!

a shower is defined as removing one’s clothes (yes, all of them), running warm water all over your body, and using soap in the folds and crevices of you body where you stink.

we are fortunate in our accommodations at youthfront camp (for summer camp as well as fall retreat) to have private camper showers. we also tend to stay in hotel rooms on our winter retreat. until this summer, though, showers on the summer mission trip were held most often at a college or high school locker room near the church where we would stay. group showers for 7th and 8th grade students haven’t been required at school for quite some time at school, so we tell our kids to bring a swimsuit for privacy if they wish.

tangent time. when i was in middle school, we took showers as a group, butt naked. every day. we may not have liked it, but we complied. i even recall once a coach made a kid who was misbehaving do pushups before being able to leave the shower area. that was probably crossing lines even in the 80s, but nobody thought anything of it then. the point is, in the last 20-30 years, required school showers have virtually disappeared from the middle school and even high school experience, except for some sports teams here and there. the rare cases where showers are regularly taken are often done wearing compression shorts, or if the boys actually disrobe completely, they will also likely do the bizarre quick-change known as the “towel dance.” i would even say it’s likely that the disappearance of required showers at school has contributed in some degree to the epidemic of childhood obesity.

follow the logic: students are no longer required to shower, so they don’t. they simply change back into their school clothes, perhaps with a splash of water to their hair and definitely caking on more deodorant. but then their teachers start to complain because they smell. what do p.e. teachers do? certainly not go back to requiring showers! that opens the door to allegations, lawsuits, not to mention the added cost (formerly an accepted line item) of laundering towels for the kids. no, instead they simply make p.e. less strenuous. if they don’t sweat as much, they don’t stink as much.

but let’s keep it one hundred. they still stink. and in the process, many kids no longer get even a modicum of physical activity sufficient to keep them healthy.

bottom line: kids, especially boys, need to practice good hygiene. allowances will be made for times being what they are. (another tangent for another day – since when since nudity in the presence of others of the same gender become so creepy?) but to let a kid go all weekend, or all week or month at camp, without requiring they take a full-body shower is nothing short of neglect. ew. just ew.

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built to last (published in student life’s youth minister newsletter)

Posted on 09.08.2010 by

recruiting new volunteers is one of the last things you should focus on. God will bring you who you need if you keep your eyes and ears open. the trick is keeping quality leaders around long enough to make an impact. between my wife and myself, we have over 30 years of experience as volunteer youth leaders, and we have no plans to slow down. one of the keys to our longevity is the extraordinary care we’ve received throughout our “volunteer careers” from the paid-to-be-gooders (i.e. full time staff/pastors). as we thought through the things that have nourished us the most as volunteers over the years, we saw three clear categories emerge. if you will consider these as you lead your team, we think you will see some amazing things happen in your ministry.

care for us

  • know us. pay attention to what makes us thrive and what drives us crazy (and be ready to step in before that happens). we love it when you give us our favorite candy or soda, or a gift card to our favorite restaurant.

read the full article at student life, or download the pdf

my first cover article! i actually wrote this early in the summer, but formatting this slick-looking resource takes awhile. the deadline was way ahead of its publication date. this article is directed toward full-timers leading a team of volunteer leaders, from the perspective of a long-time volunteer. i got a “thank-you” gift basket from student life the very day i was wrestling with whether to take the position in missouri. it came as a timely affirmation that no matter the direction my career was about to take, i also had a valuable voice to add to the larger conversation of youth ministry.

head over and read the article (you might need to zoom in with the reader…), and let me know what you think. what makes you as a volunteer (or your volunteers, if you’re a paid leader) feel valued?

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boys will be boys (published at youthspecialties.com)

Posted on 08.31.2010 by

from the sandbox to the construction site, being male is often associated with a natural spirit of trouble-making. you don’t have to be on john eldridge’s mailing list to recognize that there is an untamed energy that is uniquely masculine. middle school boys at church camp are no exception. after 19 years of volunteering, i’ve got plenty of stories to tell. but I’ve come to the point where I’ve said “enough is enough” when it comes to pranks and roughhousing.

early on, i tended to participate in or even instigate much of the pranking. one summer, i had a camper who kept leaving his dirty boxers all over the place. when he was out during free time, i led the charge to hide and/or display all of the errant unmentionables in strategic out-of-reach locations throughout the cabin. he actually thought it was pretty funny.

i organized “smackdown” wrestling for years, but those days are officially behind me. the downstairs common room in our cabins has a support post in the middle and a bank of metal lockers, so all 16 boys would strip their mattresses and feed them down the spiral staircase to provide plenty of padding. they would pair up with an opponent of similar size/weight and have 60 seconds to wail on each other (close to the mat – no aerial moves), accompanied by blaring heavy metal. did i get the message when i had the kid puke following his match? or when the boy almost dislocated his elbow? nope.

read the rest at youthspecialties.com.

back at it! to hit the deadline i actually wrote this long before we went to camp, but it helped me solidify my commitment to a no-prank, no-excessive-roughhousing policy that paid huge dividends. i’ve got another article in the works on the “boy code,” so be watching for more, but for now, head over to y.s. site and read my latest published writing. comments welcome!

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on the outs

Posted on 08.17.2010 by

“safety and structure are the foundation of treatment.”

it’s first on the list of d.y.s. beliefs and philosophies. each of them appear on the wall of every classroom and dorm in every facility. all the staff and kids know them implicitly. if you take even a cursory look at the statement, you have to agree it’s true.

the kids we work with often have stories of pain and fear to tell. “home” and “family” carry much different connotations for many of them. their neighborhood streets may not be strangers to the sound of gunfire. many bear physical and emotional scars from abuse, neglect, victimization, and trauma.

through learning to trust, they are able to be vulnerable to one another and to open themselves to the possibility of change.
then they find themselves in a place where their needs – shelter, food, physical and emotional safety – are met in a way they likely did not expect “on the outs.” instead of fending for themselves, they are surrounded by people committed to helping them turn their lives around. through learning to trust, they are able to be vulnerable to one another and to open themselves to the possibility of change. there is at least one pair of eyes and ears aware of them 24 hours a day. they are held to high expectations for their behavior and daily life rhythms.

without safety, and the structure that engenders safety, the entire enterprise crumbles.

in the two weeks i’ve worked, doing little more than shadowing experienced staff and observing the process in action, i have already been deeply impacted by the girls’ willingness to disclose their own struggles and to help each other heal. there are obstacles to overcome, and it’s a process, not an event. but one thing stands out among several of them who are nearing their release.

they’re scared to leave.

the very safety and structure that have helped them make so much progress within the program are going to be hard to come by “on the outs.” (for the slang-challenged, that means “outside of detention.”) if kids haven’t truly internalized the lessons of their treatment, they will quickly fall back into old habits and patterns, and we will soon see them again. they have various resources to call upon, including their service coordinator (like a case worker), “tracker” (a young adult who mentors them), and even calling back to the facility to talk with staff and other students who know them. the majority are successful and do not re-offend.

i think there are clear parallels with youth ministry.

kids definitely need safety and structure at youth group. at times even physical safety must be consciously protected, but even more, the emotional safety of the group takes work to uphold. we cannot allow careless comments to shut down conversation. “what’s said in small group stays in small group.” (although that almost always leads to some doofus comment about las vegas style partying.) by fostering a climate and culture where you can put aside the fart jokes and giggling about the opposite sex long enough to get below the surface, we can actually see kids forge some critical relationships with each other and with us.

but ultimately, it’s not about being successful at small group. every kid who’s been in church knows that you can answer almost any question with “God/Jesus/church/Bible” and have a good chance of making the leader happy. but those answers cannot sustain a kid “on the outs” unless their walk with God is truly internalized. will they need support to make it in the world outside of church? absolutely. we fail in our role if they can’t count on us when it counts the most.

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that’s hot

Posted on 08.11.2010 by

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dispatches from beyond the comfort zone

Posted on 08.10.2010 by

day 1 – monday aug. 2

oh boy – here goes nothing. at least i didn’t get lost, although the gps took me some bizarre way through an unmarked gate. i think i better write down the directions from people who actually work here. i don’t want to get turned around and lost in a state park in the middle of the night.

after signing my life away on a million forms, i got to meet the kids i’ll be working with, and had lunch with them. well, they had their lunch, i ate my sandwich. i will definitely be bringing my own food. i thought regular school lunches were awful. ew. glad i have the choice.

yup. twelve teenage girls, ages 12 to 17. i will be the minority in the sorority.
by the way, the kids/”clients” on my team are girls. yup. twelve teenage girls, ages 12 to 17. i will be the minority in the sorority. i had agreed to work with either gender when i accepted the job, hopeful that it would allow me to be on a team with flexibility to work around at least some of my youth group commitments. i also met my immediate supervisor today. (call her “jameela.”) she is a commanding presence. i like her, i think.

it was a rough first day, though, mostly because of how much my eyes literally ached by the end. i can’t look at that many pages of information in one sitting, much less process even a fraction of it. i guess i’ll learn what’s most important as i go.

day 2 – tuesday aug. 3

rene’s birthday was today. i had a quick lunch with her, but would have loved to spend the evening too. instead, the new reality is her at home alone, me working until midnight, then a 70 minute drive home. i was exhausted, and wish she wouldn’t have woken up when i came stumbling in at 1:30. but she did, so one more birthday kiss, albeit technically the day after.

i got to see what a shift can look like, although i quickly learn that there is no such thing as a “typical” shift. the girls have “group” most evenings, during which they present and discuss pieces of their program. all kids in d.y.s. (division of youth services) complete specific self-evaluation and counseling goals, including analysis of their cycle of behaviors (such as the triggering event, build-up to the destructive choice, and “outs” along the way) and victim empathy, among several others. their “sentences” are indeterminate in length, so they have to make satisfactory progress before they are released. it’s hard work.

there is a whole new vocabulary i’ll have to learn. beyond the expected alphabet soup of acronyms and abbreviations (the first one i picked up was r.d.o. – rotating day off), there are terms the kids and staff use in unique ways. when you agree with something another person says, you say “support!” it’s sort of a secular counterpart to “amen.” several times each day, the kids process the previous block of time (tasks/chores, school day, group meeting, etc.), check in with how they are feeling, and set goals for the upcoming segment of the day. “motivate” is used reflexively – if someone needs to hurry up in the bathroom or doing tasks, you ask them to “motivate.” i hope i can remember not to talk with the lingo outside of work. people will think i’m nuts.

day 3 – wednesday, aug. 4

my. i wish i could have slept past 6 this morning! it’s going to be a looooong day.

this was my first shift working primarily with the boss lady. (just to clarify, i’m not being sexist here – i would have called a male supervisor the “boss man.”) the girls really respect and respond well to her. she calls them by various pet names i could never pull off. i think i can get away with calling them “ladies” collectively. jameela calls them “ladybugs” as a group, and individually may call them “girl” or even “boo.” judging from the way they greet her and share hugs before bed, jameela is certainly the mother figure.

i can’t share any details whatsoever about individual kids, even if i change their names. confidentiality is of paramount importance.
because i’m the new guy and can’t be without another staff member, we have another staff from somewhere in the facility relieve jameela when she needs a break. right after the girls on our team are in bed, she is called to another team to deal with an emergency situation. (i need to interject here that i can’t share any details whatsoever about individual kids, even if i change their names. confidentiality is of paramount importance.) i end up leaving a little after my scheduled time, but find out later that jameela was there for hours longer. i don’t want her job! not just yet, anyway.

day 4 – thursday, aug. 5

today was my first team meeting. i had no frame of reference to contribute much to discussions of team issues and dynamics. what i really appreciated, though, was that creating the schedule was a very collaborative process. the schedule for august was already set, so we were doing the first three weeks of september. the standard is to have 45 days’ schedule done in advance. i am in quite a few trainings my first several months, so that often dictates what other days i can even work. again, i am hopeful that i can have most sunday mornings and most wednesday evenings off. that may mean being willing to work at some other times i would otherwise prefer not to, including the dreaded “turnaround” (working late one night and then the day shift the following day).

also at the team meeting, it was decided that the girls could come off of “high structure.” due to some dynamics the previous weekend, the girls had lost several privileges as a group. they were quite happy to learn of the restrictions being lifted, but they also got to brainstorm ways to maintain their privileges.

day 5 – friday, aug. 6

it is definitely true that no two shifts are alike in this line of work. the entire atmosphere was so much lighter. the girls were happier, and because they had regained the ability to attend to hygiene beyond the basics, they even looked nicer. this was the first night (of my 5-day career) that they got to listen to music as they waited for sleep. among the relaxing choices was a “church cd” (they have a group of adult volunteers from local churches that does a weekly bible study).

seeing the kids make positive progress may be what could end up keeping me at it when the hours are late, the schedule frustrating, and the drive far too long.
it’s clear to me that jameela is a believer. although being a state agency, staff cannot preach to or proselytize the kids, the entire model is essentially grace incarnated. these are kids that much of society, sadly including many in the church, would prefer to write off. instead, as part of being held accountable, they go through the difficult, often painful, process of full repentance. i was touched as one girl shared about her choices and how she knows she will struggle to stay on a positive path when she is released. i think seeing the girls (and perhaps boys, eventually) make positive progress may be what could end up keeping me at it when the hours are late, the schedule frustrating, and the drive far too long.

by the way, we are strongly considering relocating (to the north kc or liberty area) when our lease is up, assuming i have reason to believe i’ll stay at this facility for a while. but we cannot justify paying nearly 6 months worth of rent in penalties should we try to break our lease early!

day 6 (or perhaps 8, depending on how you count it) – monday, Aug. 9

my first (half) day of training. all i can say is, it can only get better from here. there were a lot of class clowns in the group (from various facilities besides my own), and at times only a few of us were not snickering over something mentioned in the training materials. communicable diseases, including sexually transmitted diseases, was the topic. ’nuff said.

too many words for one reading, as usual. i hope to find a realistic rhythm of rest, fitness and recreation, time to edit video, and digital engagement (and sabbath) – including regular blogging. my phone can’t be on my person while i work, so checking my various streams of content is pretty much done at 2:30 when i start my drive. that is going to be a good thing, though. i checked too frequently as it was.

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words to build a life on

Posted on 08.01.2010 by

this was a weird week. i never know what to expect when i head to youthfront for a week of camp, but this year was unusual. while i have had to leave camp a couple times, including once to deal with a busted phone, i have never left camp overnight during a week i was a cabin leader. but then, deaths in a family don’t often happen at a convenient time.

last friday night, rene’s grandpa passed away at the age of 95 years, 11 months. when he was born, the sinking of the titanic was still fresh news. he lived through both world wars, the great depression, the korean war, the vietnam war, the rise and fall of communism, assassinations and attempts on multiple presidents and public figures, a presidential resignation and an impeachment, and the nonsense of y2k. what impressed me the most about his 95+ years on this globe was that he was a committed follower of Jesus most of his life, and a member of the same country church for 75 years. (average attendance last sunday was 32 – up from 26 last year.) we left camp on tuesday night and drove out to brewster, 35 miles from the colorado border, by way of a quick stop in manhattan to see my sister before she heads to grad school in boston in a few weeks. we also borrowed my mom’s prius – that was pretty cool, especially driving in it past the wind farm west of salina.

you have never heard the gospel preached quite like it is in a church that seats 100 people.
i turned right back around to head back to camp after the service and rene stayed another day with her family, returning friday morning to camp. the six hour drive flew by, and i was gripped by what i had seen in the brief celebration of grandpa troy’s life. the pastor used the bible troy had read for all those years, reading passages that he had underlined or otherwise been drawn to. you have never heard the gospel preached quite like it is in a church that seats 100 people, and it was one of his wishes that it be so when we gathered to remember him. i could barely keep singing “victory in Jesus” at the close of the service; it was one of the first hymns i learned as a new believer.

when i pulled up to camp, stopping only to heed nature’s call and grab food to eat while driving, the kids were just coming out of their evening gathering and were headed to cabin discussion time. i shared with my group of 6th grade boys the impact the service had on me, and the amazing testimony of a life lived on the foundation of God’s word. in fact, one of the central themes of the week was building a solid foundation for life.

on tuesday, kids read the parable of the wise and foolish builders, then created actual concrete foundation pieces as a cabin (complete with decorations ranging from gravel and shiny stones to coins, plastic flatware, and even gummy bears). on that foundation, kids were also challenged to live out their faith by incarnating the love the good samaritan showed, meeting tangible needs using what you have been given á la “feeding of the five thousand,” and finally to “trade up” – giving up whatever you hold dear for God’s kingdom plan.

i had a great group of boys, and the week went really well, both with and without me. what does that say? i was thrilled that, for the first time in several years, i had no injuries more serious than a banged shin while trying to get to our campfire in the dark. that can partly be attributed, i think, to a much more sensible stance on issues like pranks, bullying, and roughhousing, both on my part and campwide. we also had some really cool discussions, including the notion of the “boy code” under which guys are supposed to act tough and maybe funny, but not vulnerable or compassionate. (i have guest articles forthcoming on a couple youth ministry sites about roughhousing as well as the boy code – i’ll link to them when they publish.)

i think the think that really captures the spirit of the week for me, though, is the return of a worship song i hadn’t sung for quite a few years. “words to build a life on” is some of the most brilliantly written lyrics i have ever heard. i quote a few lines below, but you should see troy hochstetler’s blog, where you can see the full lyrics, listen to the song, and buy it on itunes or get the cd itself.

these are words to build a life on
these are Your words how can they be mine
these are words to build a life on
these are Your words I want them to be mine

blessed are the poor
blessed are the weak
blessed are the ones
who can barely speak

blessed in your hurt
blessed in your pain
blessed when your teardrops
are falling down like rain

—

blessed when you’re heartbroke
blessed when you’re fired
blessed when you’re choked up
blessed when you’re tired

blessed when the plans
that you so carefully laid
end up in the junkyard
with all the trash you made

—

blessed when you’re put down
because of Me you’re dissed
because of Me you’re kicked out
they take you off their list

—

so bring out all the flavor
in the feast of this My world
and light up all the colors
let the banner be unfurled

shout it from the rooftops
let the trumpets ring
sing your freaking lungs out
Jesus Christ is King!

Jesus is my Savior
Jesus is divine
Jesus is my answer
Jesus is my life

yes, that actually is only part of the song. i love these lyrics, written by mike crawford at jacob’s well church in kansas city, because they address nearly any difficulty, disappointment, or heartbreak one could experience, and they draw you over and over to the truth that the words of God are the foundation for a life well lived. a life like grandpa troy’s.

i needed this week, and i wouldn’t trade it for anything. i needed to be with rene and her family in their moments of mourning and grief, i needed to see my family if only for a night, and i needed to be with the kids at camp. i have no idea what the rhythm of my life is going to look like for the foreseeable future. my new job will have a huge effect on how i spend my days (and nights). i hate the thought of having to miss meeting with the youth group, but given the bigger picture, i am trusting God’s good plans for me.

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big boy pants (doing hard things)

Posted on 07.24.2010 by

i have a full time job. for most of my marriage to rene, i haven’t been able to say that. but it’s finally true! on august 2, i start in a position as a “youth specialist” at a facility in lawson, mo. it’s a treatment program for delinquent youth committed to the custody of the missouri division of youth services with the department of social services. i will be involved primarily in group therapy and other forms of treatment.

uncropped photo uploaded to flickr 2.10.2007 by thomas hawk

the past few weeks have been a flurry of highs and lows as i have awaited the final offer. i had also interviewed for a similar (or perhaps parallel is a better word) position in olathe, but ultimately it was the program in missouri that looked to be the best fit for me in the long run. let me tell you, the process of making my decision (since i had a fairly good idea i was going to be offered the position for several weeks) was not one i want to repeat any time soon. i have grown, though, and anticipate much more growth as the next few months hit full force.

the missouri program, sometimes called “the missouri model” (this is a  30-minute youtube clip) and even “the missouri miracle,” is a nationally recognized, innovative way to treat delinquent youth. representative from 30 other states have visited the missouri facilities to see how they have achieved such extraordinary success. chris cuomo and a team from good morning america spent a year with nearly unfettered access to the program and its clients (not “inmates”). in short, the predominant model of all juvenile offenders in the entire state being shipped to a huge facility “upstate” where they were treated the same as adult prisoners was replaced with a decentralized system in which kids stay in small cottages, college campuses, or converted schools. the facilities are located near most of the youths’ families, and family is considered a critical part of treatment. there are no bars on the windows. only the most secure facilities have metal detectors or fences. instead of solitary cells, kids sleep in dorm-style bunkrooms adorned with pictures and personal items from home. they wear their own clothes, not prison jumpsuits. instead of guards or corrections officers, the staff are college educated and focus on treatment, not correction (which often means little more than sitting and doing your time). where some states see a recidivism rate of 30% or even 40%, missouri sees fewer than 10% reenter the program as youths once they “graduate.” this also saves the adult corrections system a chunk of money as fewer of these kids offend as adults.

where some states see a recidivism rate of 30% or even 40%, missouri sees fewer than 10% reenter the program as youths once they “graduate.”

suffice it to say that i couldn’t ask for a better environment to learn from the best and take on some very effective techniques. i even think i might learn a thing or two that could help me as a youth leader. most of our kids will never see the inside of the juvenile justice system, but kids are kids. what works for one group can be tweaked to work for another.

that does, however, bring up a difficult aspect of this transition. because the schedule will mostly have me working nights on whichever weekdays i’m scheduled (a weekday shift will go from 4 to midnight), i will not be able to serve as a small group leader with the same consistency i am used to. i confess it’s been a point of selfish pride for me that when co-leaders have had to miss for work or family commitments, i’ve always been there. now i have to trust that God is big enough to handle my lack of control over my schedule. nevertheless, that issue alone was a pretty big hurdle to get over. it will also be a 75 minute drive. i will often be arriving home after 1 in the morning.

these barriers (in my mind at least) almost caused me to pass on the best opportunity i’ve been given in a long time. i even sought out professional counsel, which this super-independent guy doesn’t do often. i was confronted by what author janet a. beverley calls “the profound question” (supported by but not directly quoting her book creating loving relationships, available via my amazon associate link or by emailing the author). ms. beverley developed this rubric for evaluating tough decisions in which we must figure out “what is God’s will for me in this situation?” with her permission, i share it here:

what is the most difficult action for me me to take right now, something that i absolutely do not want to do, yet it is healthy, respectful of self and other, responsible (for self and to other), and given the bigger picture, the action will cause the least amount of harm to self and other?

it’s as if she had a microphone to my thoughts that night i kept my exhausted bride up until the wee hours, talking, fussing, crying, and flip-flopping so much both our heads spun. the Scriptures are brimming with stories of folks who had to make a really tough decision to obey God even when it may have been the last thing they really wanted to do. our pal jonah is the most famous example of how not to respond when God calls you to obey. as i wrote a couple weeks ago, the path of least resistance is boring. far too long have i lived a life that was comfortable to the point of laziness. it’s time for me to put on my big boy pants and do the hard thing. i trust God to help me grow and thrive where He has called me.

i will also keep building the innovideo creative brand and portfolio.
some other things will also be changing, or could change in the not-too-distant future. i will no longer sub in olathe. between now and october 1, i will be transitioning out of my role as student ministry webmaster and video editor. turns out that would have happened regardless of other job scenarios, but God’s timing and sense of humor are, as always, impeccable. i may be involved on the volunteer team that creates video content for the church at large, but the details are uncertain as i navigate the goofiest schedule i’ve ever worked. i will also keep building the innovideo creative brand and portfolio. in fact, the day before i got the final job offer in missouri, i also got an email confirming a project that will put my videos in front of perhaps thousands of eyes. i need to delay announcing any details until the project is ready to release.

we may move when our lease is up in april. depending on whether the position in lawson looks to be a good fit long-term, we’ve talked about renting (an apartment, townhouse, duplex, maybe even a single-family home) in the north kansas city or liberty area. that would place us within about equal drive time to lawson, rene’s work, and church. we will still attend christ community (sunday service times will depend on my schedule, but i can just make it to the five o’clock service if i work the day shift from 8-4), and we will serve as best we can with the youth. other big, exciting changes will include the ability to make solid progress toward our goals of getting out of debt and working toward the purchase of a home. we would also love to start seriously thinking about a family.

i could be jumping the gun, but it really feels like i’ve grown up a lot the past couple of weeks. i’ve had more ups and downs than an adrenaline junkie on the mamba at worlds of fun, but given “the bigger picture,” i am encouraged by the direction i’m pointed and the progress i will make.

Treatment program for delinquent youth committed to the custody of the Missouri Division of Youth Services with the Department of Social Services.
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